i wish i started watching this show sooner
Why is this not taught universally.
all 46 excuses on my friends wall,
1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow
2. we can’t all be usain bolt
3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”
4. i had pe first period do you blame me
5. i really, really didn’t want to sing
6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates
7. you can’t tell me how to live my life
9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic
10. there was a freak yachting accident
11. i am a fucking retard
12. this is just for my wall
13. do you even read these
14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop”
15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction
16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight
17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win
18. traffic jammy jammy jam
19. how can i go to school when alex turner
20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her
21. i was sticking it to the man
22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity
23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued
24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset
25. my meth lab caught fire
26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be
27. i was sad
28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely
29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”
30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth
31. 2 kool 4 scool
32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen
33. i tried
34. i’m sorry i’m late
it’s not my fault
my auntie was killed
and i joined a cult
35. a haiku about lateness:
late late late late late
late late late late late late late
late late late late late
36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking
37. i was fashionably late
38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg
39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me
45. i was fighting al qaeda
YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN
the post that doesn’t age
this is still fucking hilarious, you stupid woman.
Phillip’s face tho
Lying to yourself and saying you’re just going “book browsing”
HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL
WHO BROUGHT IT BACK
1. Destroy the picture in your head of how you think its all supposed to be. That picture is an illusion. Listen to me, there is no such thing as the best. There is no such thing as a right way to live. It’s an ideal. You have to execute the model of utopia that you have created in your mind, because how do you expect yourself to live up to an imagined place where everything is perfect? You do not want set yourself up for failure. There is not a right way to live and there will never be a right way to live. Once you destroy that illusion of the perfect way to live, you will be much happier.
2. You were born with the ability to say ‘yes’ to things, which means you were also born with the ability to say ‘no.’ Remind yourself this.
3. There will be times when nothing about yourself makes sense. We’re all strangers to ourselves. There are times when it is okay to question everything about our life because we are constantly changing. Instead of letting these times breed into loneliness, give yourself the ability to let these times provide you with strength.
4. It will always be okay to love yourself. Never let anyone tell you differently.
5. Just because other people may have it worse, doesn’t mean your problems are not valid. You are allowed to be upset. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
6. Liking the cafeteria food at school does not make you weird. I promise.
7. People might tell you your love for a band or for a celebrity or for a certain song is a phase. They will probably be right. But it is important to find the things that bring you joy and to become an enthusiast about everything you love. If you are intrested in something love with everything you have. Love things passionately and wholeheartedly. Don’t compromise your love for something because of what other people say. If it makes you happy, embrace it with open arms.
8. There’s no such thing as a good side. “You will find someone that doesn’t want clean-cut, someone that wants the misfits - the bad tattoos and regretful smiles and tattered shoes and fading purple hair. Someone who wants the sick and twisted backstories; the bloody hangnail and the extra shot of tequila and the dirty guitar pounding out of a back-alley club; the broken hearts and the lives going nowhere and the lost eyes.” People are full of imperfections which end up turning into such interesting photographs.
9. When people sense that they are being heard, they will always give you something worth hearing. Any time you talk to anyone about something that they love they’re their most beautiful. Never put someone down while they’re telling you about something they love. It’s a really cool gift to get to talk to people about that.
10. I want you to find someone that fills you with light. Be with someone that makes you laugh until milk is squirting out of your nose. Be with someone who falls in love with the way your nose is a little crooked at the end. I hope that in your lovers’ eyes you see raindrops falling down out of your childhood window. I hope that in your lovers’ arms you smell fireplaces and apple cider, and that you feel at home. One day you will find someone to love that reminds you that home is not a place, but that home is a feeling. But most importantly, I hope that your first love is yourself."
Liz Climo on Tumblr.
this really cheered me up
[seductively takes off glasses]
wow you’re fucking blurry